Emails I Recieve

I often get emails asking me the same questions but with their personal and genuine concerns. I want to share one common questions that is asked in a variety of ways. Here is one from Allen who has the same situation that many men go through. Hey David, I can't get my mind off of my wife and move on without her. I have done the things you suggest but I keep thinking about her and feel stuck. What else can I do? Thanks, Allen My reply: Hi Allen, Remember that you have to make the choice to use the tools I give you and to work the process out, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. I started you off with a plan to keep your body in power with a workout plan and nutrition. I also gave you things that you should work towards concerning anxiety as a part of that plan. They are simple things to do. When you are working on yourself you will not have the overwhelming thoughts about your wife and the anxiety will fade over time. It starts somewhere and then runs over to other areas of your life. Getting your body in line with your mind to make something happen for yourself is a key to making the changes you need to attract your wife back to you. So now keep using the tools and don't give up. Choices are made moment by moment. Keep making the right choice. Remember, RAW DETERMINATION! One added note here that I will discuss with you on the phone. You need to practice how you speak with people on their emotional side when the situation calls for it. Put it to use as much as you can.

Also without telling your kids what is going on with you. Go and involve yourself in their lives on a deeper level. "Be" interested in what they like doing. It pays off, believe me. "Be" with them and even invite them to go and work out with you. Talk with them while you are working out together. Go and have some fun with them. These are things that I do and it works.

Talk with you soon,

David

Men do get hung up on thinking about their wives, wanting them to come home and it is understandable. I was in that place, too. Anyone who is separated and possibly facing divorce goes through an emotional battering and even emotional seizure, better known as anxiety, where you get stuck and can't move forward with the changes you must make. You can be your own worst enemy emotionally. You may be beating yourself up all the time because the reality of her being gone is far more than you care to handle. Its humbling, isn't it? But lets be very real. I shared in a previous post that you need to understand what went wrong in your marriage to be able to work on yourself and take your place as leader and lover of your wife. Don't just think it's you. Let's not be self centered. Your wife has her own devastation to deal with and believe me, it's not exactly easy for her either. She has had to pull from her own resources to be able to leave you. In other words, she will completely rely on herself to gain the happiness she was looking for in your leadership and love. There are many of you who are struggling with the torment of separation. The first thing you will need to do is get around other men. Why? You need to share your story once and then move past it. Keep yourself out of situations where you have to share your story over and over again for now. Next, you need these men to walk out manning up with you. These men are your accountability partners. I have three men I turn to regularly when I need strength. It's VERY important that you DO NOT walk this out alone. You need men of caliber to hold you up when things get tough. I'm not talking about what your wife is saying about you or to you or even what she is doing. I'm talking about making the genuine and authentic changes you MUST make in your life right now. The next thing I will address is your obsession over her which is why you're thinking about her all the time. I'm not going to be insensitive here and say get over it. I understand that you miss her. You talked with her every day. Your partner is personally, intimately and sexually absent from your life. What you are feeling is a ripping apart of your souls and that I know is very painful going through it alone. Let's not be insensitive about your wife either. With her it's no different but she may be feeling it in her anger and frustration with your inability to lead and love the way you should. With her it's based on resentment and that comes with your failure to lead. With you it's more selfish, being centered on your desires rather than your leadership. You can change. I am working with men right now and together we are changing the culture of men in the family and empowering them to lead. I don't mean to be so repetitive but I do want to drive this right through your mind and get it into your heart. You have a power that you can use right now. It's called choice. You have the power to choose. So make a quality decision for YOUR life right now and be consistent with it. Come to a place of RAW DETERMINATION and don't look back! If you really want to be a better man, a loving husband and father then this is exactly where you start. Be FEARLESS! Fear is why you are where you are with your wife if you really want to get real with yourself and understand why she is gone. I want to help you with some strategies to get you through this tough time. I can help you through the healing process of the torment you are feeling. I have been there and if I can get through it, so can you. Click here to schedule a free consultation so that we can talk about the different plans that are available to you.